*sigh*
I know I've not posted for a while. Life has been up and down lately.
At the moment it is down. I'm so sick of feeling like this.
I'm so disheartened with people. If two people are talking and one of them asks me a question, I begin to answer .... without me being able to finish they turn back to the person and continue talking to them. It happens so often.
I go home and eat lunch on my own. I've given up asking people to lunch with me as they always say no, they have something else on/planned.
There are times I sit at my desk and cry (or cry at home at lunchtime) because I'm so lonely here and no one gives a damn. No one ever notices or bothers to care.
For the past few years I've put on a happy face to make it seem I'm on top of the world. Lately it's been impossible. I don't care anymore if I don't look/seem happy. I'm sick of lying to those around me when they say How are you ... I used to say good. But now I don't answer them, I just ask how they are. No one seems to give a hoot about that either.
RB, if you see this, please don't ask me to remove this post; as I've not named names or anything else.
:(
MySpace
Well, I've done it. I've got a myspace page.
It's only in its infancy, but here it is....
http://www.myspace.com/morbius_76
I am here!
Yes, I am here and still alive!!!
I've gone and got myself addicted to World of Warcraft. (I may have posted that before?!)
But I must admit, it is a very good game. There's alway new things to see and thing to associate with in the game. For example in one city there are two npc's standing near each other that have names similar to two of the hobbits in Lord of the Rings. When flying between two different zones, if you look back you can see two similar statues (albeit dwarven) similar to the huge saluting gigantic ones either side of the river when they're rowing their boats .... before Boromir is killed .. and they all separate.
I'm getting a new computer soon. Which will be good :) Just the pc ... no new monitor as yet ... altho that might not be too far into the future... as my screen died a couple of weeks ago! I'm now using my husbands and he's using my spare (it was too dark to see WoW - is only dark with that game!!)
I may be starting a course soon to get myself a Diploma of Design (Porfessional Graphic Design & Desktop Publishing) . Something I've been wanting to do for the past 9 years or so!! Am a bit surprised it's taken me this long to get around to doing it!! But it should be good :-)
~Update~
I am still here ....I'm not actually sure anyone visits my website anymore, except for bots looking for email addresses!
Had a thought the other day that possibly the reason that time is going so fast, might be a result of people not being as polite/respectful/mannerly to each other as they were 50 years ago (even 25 years ago). And not taking the time with people the way they used to either.
I don't like the way the world is going. Fewer and fewer people have any patience, respect or manners. And it gives me the shits. The more of that crap I get thrown at me, the more I just feel like turning into one of them and giving them a taste of their own medicine. BUT I don't want to do that. I want to still keep my manners and be as patient and respectful as I can to everyone, so that those who are mannerly/respectful/polite like me don't turn into those that aren't.
Life, pc troubles, pc games etc ~from the last couple of months~
Well, I'm here at last!!!
I've gone and got myself addicted to World of Warcraft. It's fantastic. Which is the main reason I've not been online much lately or blogged for so long.
Also, it is Christmas (well, the day after Boxing Day!!!) Merry Christmas to all :-)
Work got really crazy towards the end of the year, everyone was getting more and more snappy (me included) and just wanted to be out of there. Can't really remember last year, but I'm sure it ended up that way last year too.
Now I've got three weeks off work. Which will be so good.
Monday (Christmas Day) we spend at CJ's youngest sister's house with her family, CJ's parents and his brother. A nice family do.
Yesterday we went to CJ's other sister's place (just outside of the town I grew up in) and had a good time there too. Altho we were all a bit depressed as this Christmas just didn't seem like Christmas for some reason. Nobody was very excited, the kids were all very subdued. It was weird. ...and a bit unpleasant.
Then yesterday afternoon my cousin from Albury send me an sms and said that they were driving down to see us, with her hubby and were quite happy to take us back up to Albuy with them for a couple of days. Am now in Albury on his laptop typing this :-)
We went out for tea last night at a local sports club and played a couple of games of 8-ball. Was a very good night.
Dreams of a better world
If any of you have seen the movie "Dave" I do so love that movie with Kevin Kline in it, you'll know what I mean by the following.
With the idiots that we've got to put up with running the countries (the world) ... the planet is well and truely doomed.
Every country needs a leader like "Dave" in the movie. One who puts the taxpayers hard earned money on stuff that needs it (education, health, etc). And one who looks after the little people.
*sigh* I know that will never happen, but it's nice to make that kind of wish every so often, isn't it?
Growing older
I lived with my Grandmother when I was growing up. I left home 6 years ago when I was 23.
We've been noticing lately that she's changing (we don't see her that often, so maybe we notice it more!).
We went on holidays for a week last week and I'd told my Dad we were going and where. He then told nan, who then was talking to me about it over the phone. "Be careful of your bags, as the baggage handlers are former prisoners (jailbirds)".
Two nighs ago we'd not heard from her for a while and CJ suggested I give her a call. I did that.
To fill in some of the conversation, I was telling her about our trip. She said, I didn't even know you were going away. I reminded her about Dad telling her and about her and the baggage handlers. She said that she remembered that.
It must be what they say, she was being "kept" young when I was living there, but now I'm not there, she's just letting herself go.
Just thinking that is stressful, and so is the fact that her memory is going and she says she didn't know something when she was told (sometimes a couple of times).
I dare say it happens to everyone at some stage.
Growing old has its advantages and disadvantages.
How I'm feeling.
There are some days when you just end up feeling so ... down, stressed, hurt, fed up, angry, frustrated, fucked around and generally fucked up, that you lack the ability to even smile.
Well today I feel like that. I feel like shit, total and utter shit. I'm sure I must look pretty awful too, but I can't help it. And I don't actually give a damn. Everything has just gotten me down to the point where I feel, I'm just lying at the bottom of this huge cliff I've just fallen off of, staring up at it.
I know I've got to make the climb back up, and I'm pretty sure that in a little while something will happen that will make me end up on the top of the cliff face going along quite happily where I was before I fell off.
Steve Irwin passed away on Monday and it's been a huge shock to all of us. That may be part of what's wrong, I dunno. Other things are wrong too, but I'm not going to go into it here.
I've read that when you wake up in the morning, you have a choice. Feel good and smile or feel bad and frown.
When you feel like this, it uses a hell of a lot of energy to feel good. Most time the level of "happiness" just happens on its own. I'm just in a "happy" mood.
Nothing is working at the moment. Happy thoughts aren't cutting it. Funny jokes hit the smile spot for the briefest of moments, then they're gone again.
----------------------------------------
I hate feeling like this.
I hate what's happening.
I hate how I can't see a solution.
I hate how I can't tell him how I'm feeling and what's wrong.
I hate how he doesn't listen (or hear) when I try.
:-(
Live, games, and very little time on the net. ~From the last couple of months~
Life has settled back down to normal again. We're still trying to get this honeymoon happening, but hopefully it will go ahead ok. I still have my doubts about going to New York City, but CJ wants to go and see it before we lose the chance (ie start a family).
I'd put in a tender for a second hand pc at work and I was successful. Now I can play Neverwinter Nights *yay* hehe.
It's not bad. I'd say it would be a fair bit different playing it online, but I'll have to wait and get a modem for that pc before I can try that!
I've cancelled my EverQuest account for the time being ... if I can get this 'new' pc hooked up to CJ's like my old Win98 one is so that my 'new' one (Win2000) can piggyback off CJ's that will be cool.
Getting back into EverQuest will not be much fun, as there will be a hell of a lot of updates etc that I'll have to download before I'll be able to play.
I've bought a better graphics card from it, and all is working fantastically. Next thing I'll be buying for it will be a $79 dvd burner that I've seen in the latest Netguide (not too dear, but will do the job).
I'll gradually buy things for it until I'm at a point where I'm happy having it online. ie Anti virus software etc.
I'm beginning to think that getting broadband will be the most easiest way for the two of us to be on the net at the same time, as I tend to hog bandwidth a lot, especially when I'm playing online.
Morrowind came very close to being sold, as I couldn't play it very well on CJ's pc. But now I can play it too.
All is well.
Tag Board
Ok, that's it. I've had it!
If you can't say anything intelligent, then don't say anything at all.
What's the point of posting crap on people's tagboards.
If I'm going to be visited by idiots who've nothing better to do than post junk, then I'm not putting family stuff on this page either.
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World of Warcraft
... it really does take over your life!
Question of the month: How do you like your coffee (or tea)?
Myth: Housework. Once it's done, you can sit down and have a rest.
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About
me...
At the beginning of 2001
I moved to a little country town in the middle
of Victoria (Australia) about 65kms from the
town I was born and grew up in. It's a fairly
peaceful historic town nestled at the foot of
the Strathbogie Ranges. I live here with my
husband in a house we bought in 2002.
When we have the time and money we paint parts of the house,
do some more gardening, and workout what renovations we can do to the house next...
and also try to keep up with each day as it passes.
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Messages
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If I can find something similar to tagboard on the net that is customisable, I will put it here. Any ideas you can put my way?.
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